Woof, woof, bark, yip yip woof!
That's dog speak for "Hi, my name is Ruckus!" And boy do I have something for you today. Mom gets all kinds of goodies in the mail to make her pretty and I was getting mighty jealous so she got ME some things to make me prettier this time. She must not realize I'm naturally good looking already, so instead of hygiene products she should be ordering me more treats. But I won't lie, keeping up with these naturally good looks of mine does take a wee bit of effort. Let me show you how studly I am, in case you didn't know-
This was me last night at the dog park. I found a pile of mud and rolled in it. The ladies love that. Mom does not, she was mad and I got 5 baths.
This is my patio that I lay on. I have my own tether and I chill out there and tan outside with my mom when she doesn't have to work. It's pretty tough being a dog some days but someone's gotta do it.
My current lifestyle is one of extreme difficulty. I have rights to approximately 2/3 of my master's bed so I sleep on that at night. I eat the most expensive/best dog food there is, and when my mom eats anything with meat or eggs, she usually gives me the last bite (or I steal it). I bathe about once every 3 weeks or when I lay in dirt or mud. We just discovered a dog park here and I like to roll around and get down and dirty. Dad takes me hiking about once a week. As for amenities here, I have a therapeutic dog bed, an automatic water dispenser, a treat cupboard, another whole room to myself (that they put a crib in for some reason), about 20 toys, and I've had my pictures professionally taken and framed twice in my 2.5 years in this world. As you can see, I live a hard knock life, but I get by.
Recently, Mom was trying to prove to me how special she thinks I am so she got me a package of Doggie Wipes from this company called L.A. Fresh. It came with eye, ear, and dental wipes, each in their own little canister. Now let me make something clear- these wipes are not intended to clean me up on a day where I was rolling in mud, but they are great for spot cleaning.
I get allergies and I sneeze a lot, so I don't like strong smells (unless it's my own poo) and none of these wipes are stinky! Mom used to stick her fingers in my tear ducts to get out my eye goo in the morning, but now she just needs to wipe it away with a little towelette and it's gone! Mom also thought it was funny to give me cleansing ear drops a while ago, and that did NOT go over. I much prefer these soft and gentle ones that she wipes my ear wax with now. I was also not a fan of the chicken flavored toothpaste Mom bought from the vet, I like regular chicken better. But if I have to have my teeth brushed, I'd rather it be with a doggie wipe from L. A. Fresh.
I'm still holding a bit of a grudge that she bought me products to make me pretty instead of treats. But I do like LA Fresh quite a lot.
Yours in Beauty,